The Waiting Game

"Time feels slower when we do nothing but wait." -- Toba Beta

Perhaps this should be entitled, "The Waiting Game, What It's Teaching Me, and Why I'm Bad At It", but that felt like too long of a title. Let me tell you about me. I'm a solver. If you present me with a problem, I will find a solution. I don't stop until I have the answer and I can usually find a way to make it work quickly. I've always been this way. I hated waiting on others to answer questions in school, so much so that I'd often blurt it out and get in trouble. And I was that kid who didn't understand why we had to "show our work" in math class to get credit. The answer was right, so why did the steps in between matter? Yes, I was THAT KID.

As I got older, I continued to have this personality. I've chosen a profession where I solve problems all day long. And I have to be able to solve lots of problems at once because there is so much to do. And if I get something on my mind, it must be accomplished so that I can make room up there for other things. It's just me. I'm not perfect, but I am lovable in my imperfection.

So it is a cruel twist of irony that our second adoption is so slow. Painfully slow at times. I've cleaned the attic, rearranged the cabinets, cleaned out my son's toys and his closet. The garage has been organized. Our closet is next (saving that because it terrifies me) and then the guest room. I have to keep busy or I will go crazy, though that's an admittedly short trip these days.

Remember when I told you I'm the person who thought I only needed to get the right answer and not show the steps in between? I've now realized that "showing your work" is what makes the end result worth it. It's in the hard work that we understand what's truly important. And this wait is hard. I cannot explain it but it feels like part of my family isn't under my roof and that is the most unsettling feeling.

So for now, we will continue to organize our home and get our "ducks in a row". We will spend lots of time with our first blessing and make precious memories. And we will not miss the lessons that our hard work is teaching us. It is growing our faith enormously and we are thankful for that. Thanks for listening.  <3

"Though the wait is long, my dream of you does not end." --Nuala O'Faolain