What a light subject, huh? I got an email today about how infertility can affect friendships and it got me thinking about infertility and what a bear it is. It is painful, it is ugly, and it brings to light parts of you that you had no clue were there. And it does affect friendships.
People who struggle with infertility have such difficulty watching friend after friend get pregnant, sometimes without even "trying". It's not that we aren't happy for you, we are. But we want to know what it's like. And for that reason, we go through a series of emotions. Sometimes friends get caught in the crossfire.
I am SO beyond fortunate for the friends who stuck with me in the dark days of our infertility. The ones who had no idea what I was going through, but who listened anyway. The ones who weren't afraid of my tears. The ones who wanted us to have a child too and became our biggest cheerleaders. The ones who were the MOST excited when we were matched and who treat our boy like he is the most special treasure (because he is). The ones who check in with us now and cannot wait to meet our next munchkin.
Yes, infertility has an ugly side. But for us it hasn't been all bad. Because of infertility, we appreciate every little thing about being a parent. We find ourselves looking at each other and smiling over something our son has done (several times a day), just because we know how blessed we are. Infertility ultimately brought us to adoption sooner. We have met some amazing people through our journey and have been able to relate with them in a different way, just because we've faced the same struggles. It has allowed me to be a sounding board and outlet for countless women who are suffering, and I am honored to be able to be that for them.
And infertility has shown me things about myself that I needed to know. I am not good at everything, nor do I have to be. I am the best me I can be, and that's enough. I am strong. I have endured and overcome and have a sweet love story to tell now. Blood doesn't make a family, love does. My road hasn't been easy, but I'm thankful that I was chosen to walk it and that it is taking me to some beautiful places... <3
For those of you struggling, keep your head and your heart in the right place. Lean on those people who are determined to love you, no matter how prickly you are. Remember that they want what's best for you too. And recognize that everybody carries pain in some form. We are all hurting. Give the people around you the love and support you crave and it will come back to you.
:)
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