An Attitude of Gratitude

I have a very special friend (really extended family member) who is adopting from Uganda as we speak. She and her husband are there and have a court date tomorrow. We are praying for favorable results! She sent an email today in which she said that she is just struck by the sense of loss associated with adoption. I admit, it isn't a subject I dwell on too often. It's too difficult. When I do, here's what I think.

I am extremely grateful that there are women brave enough to choose this path for their children. I am humbled that their selflessness has led to the best gift I've been given. And I'm overwhelmed (and sad) that their pain ultimately leads to my greatest joy.

I get angry when people assume that children who are placed for adoption aren't wanted. They are wanted and they are loved. I have to imagine that a birthmom struggles every second with her decision. No one enters into it lightly, but they do it because they aren't in a place to parent and want to give their child the world.

Our birthmom was so open with us. She shared her struggles with us and her dreams for our son. I was struck by the realization that life wasn't very fair to this woman. And yet she was doing the best she could. She was able to overcome her addictions so that our sweet boy wasn't exposed to much for long. As a result, he is a happy, healthy, very smart toddler. 2 going on 20. She had 3 abortions before she conceived our son, and yet she chose to carry him to term. I am amazed and so so so thankful.

No, I don't dwell on the tough side of adoption often. I'm not naive to it. It is healthy to remember that not all parties experience joy. It keeps you grounded. And it reminds you to keep holding on to that attitude of gratitude that is so important....